Vicki Driscoll Last weekend I called one of my oldest and dearest friends just to catch up on what’s going on. I waited until 11:45 on Sunday morning and was met with an “Oh hi, is everything all right?” “Yes” I muttered back unsure as to why she would begin her conversation with that question. “Well good, let me call you back in a few, I’m just waking up.” Click. Just waking up? Just waking up? It’s practically the middle of the day. I’ve done 3 loads of laundry, made breakfast, washed dishes and for the most part, successfully managed to get two people dressed and their day started. One of the people is me the other is my almost 4 year old granddaughter. You see I am one of the thousands of people that are raising the nearly 4.5 million children in this country being raised by grandparents. If you are reading the newspapers at all and if you receive the AARP Newsletter each month then more then likely you are at least aware that there are a whole bunch of us folks out there. You may not be aware of the number of support groups that are springing up everywhere and in some cases, in some states there are neighborhoods being created that are just for grandparents and their grandchildren. I think this is a particularly good idea and hope to see many more as time goes on. We are not eligible for senior housing due to our young charges and it’s nice to know that someone is thinking of us. We too deserve to be able to live among our peers in a more carefree existence, and what a wonderful support situation for grandparents and grandchildren alike. You may not know that we, the grandparents, cross every economic, racial and religious line. We live in the city, the country and suburbia. We are white, black, Hispanic, Native American, and Asian. We are married, single and co-habituating. We are white collar, blue collar and unemployed. We are retired or we are facing the fact that we may never be able to do so. We are Christian, Jewish, Muslim and atheists. We are Republicans, Democrats, belong to an alternate party or we have never voted. We are diehard Yankee fans or avid Red Sox fans. But most important is not the differences as much as it is the similarities. We are grandparents raising grandchildren. We have formed friendships and bonds with people we normally would have had nothing in common with, that is, before we took in our grandchildren. Now we are one of the thousands of baby boomers that find ourselves, after a 30 year absence or so, once again listening to and watching Elmo and Big Bird. We know just who the Wonder Pets are and we can even sing most of their theme song. We took years of French in school but find ourselves patting each other on the back because we can converse with Dora and Boots in Spanish. We are no longer interested in the fine wine lists at Four Star restaurants we’re too busy checking the Kids Menu at the local family eatery. We take to heart the Comcast commercials telling us that we are able to block out certain programs and we have – we have blocked out the Travel Channel, The Fine Dining Programs, anything and everything to do with Retirement including those  infomercials  for ‘active communities for people 55 and over’. We have gone from Pay Less to Nine West and back to Pay Less. We have car seats in our Volvo wagons and SUV’s. Many of us (most that I have spoken to) have lost touch with old friends and family members- it seems to come with the territory. Amazingly you begin to take on the attitude that most people just pass through your life and are not there for the long haul. For those that have remained, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts, for those choosing to exit at this time, good riddance. Our strength comes from each other and surprisingly, we tend to agree, from our co-workers. We talk to GOD- a lot!!! We are blown away by HIS sense of humor: a full time parent again in my mid 50’s? You have got to see the humor, you have to laugh!! Sometimes we try to rally that 60’s feeling- not so much the make love not war version but the radical we need to band together to get things done theme. I belong to a support group for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren and recently several of us along with over 200 of our peers across the state attended a conference in Hartford hosted by AARP on this very topic. It was exhilarating to be in a room in the State Legislature building in the state’s capital surrounded by men and women who like yourself, have voluntarily changed their lives for the betterment of their grandchildren. People that want legislative changes to better protect our grandchildren and at the same time help out if need be, those of us that may need a little help in accomplishing this most important task. I think in mass we walked away knowing that people are beginning to take notice of us but it will be a long hard fight to get to where we need to be.  There is talk of a march or rally in DC in the spring of ‘07. Its ok I’ve marched in Washington before, twice actually, I can do it again- only this time I hope they have rest stops. Hopefully this doesn’t sound sad or angry. Yes my life has changed drastically. I also am living with my widowed father who suffers from health issues of his own (another article, another time). My days are full. I work full time in Publishing and I commute almost an hour one way to work. My days begin with making lunches and braiding hair, dropping off at Day Care and then tackling Interstate 95.  I do it in reverse 8 hours later then make dinner, give baths, dance to Noggin and PBS Sprout theme songs and end with a story or two before the good night kiss. I pick up toys and sneakers that light up. There are crayons under every table and ‘artwork’ graces both the refrigerator and the back door. Yet when all is said and done I could not be happier. This child, this little soul that came to me by way of parents that are not able to be real parents, is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me. She and she alone has filled my life with so much joy and love that sometimes I wonder were any of my feelings before her true? And yes, I’m physically tired and one day I do hope to be able to buy an article of clothing that does not come from the Mary Kate and Ashley collection and I do miss my fake nails, and I long to experience an occasional dinner that does not come with a toy. I anxiously a wait the day when finding a five dollar bill in my jacket pocket does not rival having won the Lotto. But in the end- all sacrifices will have been worth it- I’ m Nana. Oh and by the way, the friend that had to call me back – well she was out until 3 the night before partying– but once she called me back I couldn’t talk long – I was busy playing make believe and baking cookies...it doesn’t get any better then that!