anonymous a brief snippet about each parent: my dad: the summer after my freshman year at Vassar, i told my parents i was gay. my dad had been in the navy for 12 years and the army for another 11. he had been orphaned at birth, had survived 15 foster homes, never adopted, and joined the service at 16, lying by saying he was 18 and the orphanage had lost his records. when i told them, he just hugged me and told me he hoped i would be happy, and that i would bring by any guys i was dating home, to make sure they were good enough for me! i had friends in new haven that were homeless because their parents kicked them out for being gay, and mine wanted to meet whomever i was seeing. i was blessed to say the least. he taught me to refinish furniture, build things and be as creative as i could at everything i did. he never got past the 8th grade either, but had coffee every morning in Guilford with all the 'power men' of the town, the selectmen, lawyers etc. he read the paper every night from cover to cover. he was most disturbed i think, when i was 15, and decided to work for the Republican party and i made calls for the Reelect Nixon campaign. . . he was McGovern all the way. he let me do it though, and even drove me around so i could put literature on doornobs. . . my mom:  by the time i was growing up, my mom always wore pants. she had a couple of dresses, but only wore them to weddings or funerals. very down-to-earth, but was great in social circles. she travelled with my father when he was in the army, and lived in Japan for a few years, and Germany for another 5. that's where i was born-Stuttgart. she taught me to play the piano starting at the age of two, and i was reading complete books by 4. she said it was because she was bored on the army base, and chose to teach me stuff to keep her 'wits about her.' she had the oddest blue eyes-everyone commented on them. they were almost totally clear blue-almost no flecks like most people have. she was 40 when she had me, and i think having older parents is the clue to my thoughts to this day. she was 5 years older than my dad. her last few days were in a coma, at home, but she woke up the last morning and we had a great chat about how i was going to continue my life alone. i had made a mural on her bedroom wall of all of the flowers from the yard that summer that she couldn't get out to see. then she asked me to play the piano for her-the music room was next to her bedroom. she died while i was playing Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven, probably while staring at my art. how much better could an ending be? i'll always, ALWAYS feel that the best thing i ever did in my entire life, was to give both of my parents the deaths they wanted. they both wanted to die in their home-my dad because he had been an orphan, and my mom because having been a nurse most of her life, didn't want to die in a hospital with strangers around her. most people don't get, that giving people the death they want is the most precious gift in the world. i quit my job when she got sick, and did everything, including keeping a detailed recordbook of every pill and treatment. having been a nurse, she showed my how to keep her records! i didn't need any additional help until the last couple of weeks, when i called in the visiting nurses for baths etc. later! i won't be in today, but maybe tomorrow. loved james brown, but this is NOT the way my parents wanted things. . . they didn't want anyone looking at them after they died.